Voices from the neighborhood.......

In this neighborhood we live in, we are often scared of been labeled anything other than a good name, a man once said (i do not remember his name now) "you never know what burden reputation is until you loose it".

I have been thinking since i am already wearing a reputation that could pass for bad in some locations and good in another location. I have decided to validate myself and ask myself what my reputation is, and i have come to the conclusion that everyone is right because of the nature of my being, i am only what you want to see but ultimately i will leave a legacy and touch lives. Apparently i have come to know that regardless of all the grammar we speak and how much we try to come up with favorable ideas about what our lives should be, God ultimately has the master plan and He is the originator of all we will be.....so this brings me to the part where i say stop freaking out

Our lives are like open doors where we really do not have any control as to what have been programmed into our destinies, circumstances come and go, wealth, poverty, health, sickness, love, hate and all sorts make their exits and entrances into our lives at their own time and pace and all we can do is just wait for the times to change again. Sometimes we rave, rant, worry and are happy over what we get but it is appointed unto us that there is and will be a time for everything. So regardless of all our desperate efforts sometimes to change our circumstances, we may never in real sense do much except when it falls into the season's end of whatever phase we find ourselves. Now that takes me to the point where i ask again what prayers and thoughts do for us?

Bottomline is as a man thinks so he is and ask and you shall receive and i guess they go hand in hand, think it, ask it and in your palms they shall arrive. So who are we to question what we have now? why do we then question the things we have, where we are, what we are now, who we love or even dislike....it is for a season but all directed towards ultimate goodness because the creator can never will that ill luck befall you but permission may be given to the originator of wickedness to try, so tears may come, pain may follow, heartbreaks may be a frequent guest but the sun will come in the morning and your morning will come.

So the question now becomes.....what do you do with what you have in your hands? HE asked Moses what do you have in your hands? and it was with that rod that he saved and punished equally all who deserved it and even made him important amongst his people.

Do not be deterred by the voices from the neighborhood or be forced to misuse an opportunity, do the best you can and seek no compliments from no one because all man will be too himself on the journey of the dead, all men are alone with their conscience at night when they go to bed, so think it through before you throw that brother out because the voices in the neighborhood said he was no good and not your level, be mindful before you deny that sister the opportunity for that one chance of a life time because the voices said jeez she is crap and not worth your while.....

If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad. People should not really say what you deserve or don't deserve.....when the Son of man came, they said to him all them neighborhood voices said what are you doing with a prostitute, the tax collector and all them low life people, sinners, adulterers and them all bad people.....if He had stopped loving for a single y'all be lost now.....our ultimate destinies may be fulfilled in the craziest and most undignifying of things......who can say anyway? we do not know the mind of the creator.....so if loosing sleep over me makes you happy and am responding positively and the neighborhood says am no good and even you, if you stopped it may not really hurt but if you do it in the purest of heart, you may be sun that will come in my morning, the real deal that my life needed

Love all you can, live life all the way that's possible, do all there is to do in the pureness of heart, if it makes you happy and it puts a smile on a face do it.......how we deal with all entrances before the exits of people and stuff that come our way is how we will be judged....to whom much is given, much is expected, if i say am unlucky because i have loads of bad experiences and make countless mistakes, i think it means i probably have alot to give and a lot to learn and so do y'all who walk by everyday on my pathway.....

My sexuality

I have never being a saint, from my myopic view as a teenager a few years ago i dare not be associated with a "slut".......dare i say of myself that i was just a bloody liar living in denial of my very own existence.

Neighborhood gossip never fell short of a constant criticism of badly behaved girls who dressed provocatively, engage in frequent and risky sex and got pregnant. With the passing of days,i have come to see that they were the normal ones and the rest of us were just deviants and mutants. They behaved in the most natural way of their creation.....women in these teenage years and early adulthood and are at their fertility peak, nature has programmed them at this point to keep the species growing. They flaunt their sexuality not by their own design but by a force far greater than societal or religious ethics.

Sexual drive, the overwhelming desire to engage in sex (procreation), is ultimate expression of life itself, life is what creates new life out of itself.

Some 20 tribes in the world are of the opinion that a child ideally ought to have more than one
father.....don't be laughing now because i am still thinking about it from the medical side of the story.In some cultures this model of till death do us part missionary style does not apply, a woman is a gift and free to choose her mate....sperm is cheap i dare say it is a whole lot hence can be wasted i dare say also, but eggs are few hence very expensive. Women by the nature of the valuable resources they carry cannot afford to waste it by experimenting or endangering their lives with risky practices.

I don't believe it is criminal to admit that we have fantasies and women generally are sexual creatures and it is part a woman's feminine composition to be tender, sexuality of a female is a great asset for expression and it is no crime at all to live life to the fullest exploring every part of you that drives towards ultimate understanding of your being. Sexiness is the total embodiment of a woman....theories have been propounded of how much sex does for the human body, but here i seek that you understand the chemistry, depth and power of a woman's sexuality which may be expressed in so many ways than one, the tenderness of a woman, the adornment of a woman, the carriage of a woman, the pitch in her voice......

We are oftentimes afraid to say that we fantasize about sex with strangers or in weird places, afraid to say ice will feel great on the skin......it is no crime to long for natural rights. I am no saint but i am not filled with greed, our sexuality should be expressed but with organized pattern to safeguard the treasures we carry....

streaming thoughts

I have not written for a while now.....its been crazy all the way
fixing me, fixing you and i have been thinking
not about my life necessarily but about the reason for my life
I live my life the best way i know how......not afraid of taking the wrong turns even though sometimes i wish i just knew right from start where i should apply the brakes
I still come forth after dying beneath the weight of my mistakes i soar to greatness
I cant over emphasize how much i love me, but i dare say i am the best there is and can ever be.....
Years have passed and i am still me......

i still love rock & roll, jazz, country......a lil in love with soul and R & B and still got the love for melancholic beats

i still love black, white, green, purple & blue colours

i still don't know how to scheme to get a man and i still don't know why i should not walk of a relationship when the guy doesn't fit into the plan......don't ask what the plan is

i still wish we could feed on air or maybe just eat eggs and bread

i still feel its okay to go on a date and listen to him just because he is good company and i knew since last week am not gonna date and i am going freak out if when he persists .....

i still talk all my ex like we never dated.....

i still think the bed dance is cool if the company is interesting and i still can't do it to get to point B & C....

i still believe everyone deserves care, attention, love and the benefit of doubt

i still hate to eat rice & stew without any accompanying....

i still can't sleep until its a new day.....

i still can't stand someone just knowing what am doing or where am going.....

i still loose my cool......i still crack people up by being cynical or even scare them

i still act like one with a dual personality cos its so freaking cool.....

i still believe dreadlocks are cool and spiritual and went ahead to grow them.....

i still don't know why a guy should hit me and i just watch and love him......when i can just walk

i still don't know why people strive so hard for things they can't have and are not meant to have.......i still believe if you don't have it now you don't need it

and i still love to be with that kinda guy who is just undefined, unpredictable, who will love me the way i want, let me be a kid in my within and who thinks its cool to keep my mono straps even when we are married and my camou skirt.....

i am me ......i can't be anything else, i am created to make the most of my world......to make you think these thoughts and understand that life is just beautiful and one day at a time is so cool
analyzing everything will only make you loose out even though the fast is not the best especially for you who don't have brakes.......
love quickly and be responsible for your actions cos all you did was the right thing to do especially if you didn't know different